Life Skills 101
(What
I have learned along the way)
Mike
Arieta M.S.W, LICSW, LMSW
Lately, there has been a lot of discussion about higher education
and what students who are seeking post secondary education should know before
making the decision to enter a college or university. Many young people who are at a cross roads in
their lives are wondering what are the best choices to make or what path they
should take. Below is a list of items
that are meant to be a guide to making decisions that will impact their
lives.
1. Know that you will make
mistakes and this is OK!! You
will learn from the mistakes you make.
The issue of making mistakes is not to say that you should intentionally
make them, but realize when you make a mistake and be willing to accept
feedback. People who experience
disorders know the frustration of not completing a task and may give up quickly
when a mistake is made. You have to be
willing to be flexible and to keep trying.
When a mistake is made you must be willing to take a step back and
evaluate the situation. Seek out the
opinion of a trusted friend or support person and listen to what is said, then
make adjustments based on what you learned from the advice you were given and
what you learned from previous experiences.
2. Know and understand the
system you are working with. Think of
this as a library. A library is a big
place and has tons of good information, but you need to know how to find that
information. You need to go to the
catalog or resource person in the library to help you find where the book is. If you are working or going to school you need
to know where to go or who to ask when you need information about how to do
your job or what class to take. School
or work can be a big place and you can get lost when you don’t have good
information to complete your task.
3. Develop a good support system
of family, friends, teachers and others who will encourage and guide you as you
strive to meet your goals. Find a safe
place where you can go to be yourself, laugh, cry and have fun. This place may be a church, club or
classroom. Surround yourself with people
in these places who know and understand you.
4. Know yourself. Knowing
yourself means you have a good idea of what your strengths and weaknesses
are. Knowing yourself also means you
understand what your disability or diagnosis is and how to explain this to
others. When you can explain what your
disability is to others they get to understand you. They get to understand why you do a task
differently than others or take more time to complete a task. When you understand what your disability is,
you also need to know what kind of accommodations you need to help you be
successful on the job or at school.
Think of yourself as an educator or ambassador. The more you know about yourself, the more
you can advocate for yourself to be successful. Knowing yourself also means
that you are comfortable with who you are as a person. This may take time to develop, but you must
like who you are as a person. This may
take time to learn, but the more you can accept all of yourself and the more
comfortable you are with who you are, then and only then can others be
comfortable around you.
5. Ask for help. Remember, if you don’t ask, no one will know
what you need.
6. Do not be afraid to try
and if you fail try again. Please know
that others have experienced many of the same difficulties and failed but, they
learned from their mistakes and succeeded over time.
Quotes to help you keep going when you fail:
“Success
is not final and failure is not fatal…it’s the courage to continue that
counts.” - Winston
Churchill
“Our greatest glory is not in
never failing, but in rising up every time we
fail.“ -
Ralph Waldo Emerson
7. Be committed to what you
start. If it takes you longer to figure something out or get something done,
that’s ok. Just finish what you
start.
8. Learn to laugh at
yourself and embrace what makes you different. Those differences are a part of
you.
9. Plan for the
future. This means if you plan on going
on to a better job or other schooling you need to know how to access
information to help you complete your future goals. Learn to speak up and advocate for
yourself. You can learn how to do this
by sitting in on the parent/teacher conferences about your progress. You learn what is being said about you and
the teachers get to know who you are.
You can learn how to advocate for yourself by speaking up in these
meetings. If you don’t understand something that is being said, ask
questions so that you do understand. You
need to know if the information that is presented about you is accurate and
correct. You want to advocate for
yourself, so that you can assist in the planning of your life.
Planning for the future also means thinking BIG, but starting
small. If you have a goal to get a job
or complete school, you don’t become president of the company or graduate
overnight. You become president of the company by starting at the bottom and
learning each job. You graduate after
taking the needed classes or completing the needed training. Each success is a stepping stone to your
ultimate goal. Have a goal in mind, but
work with your teachers to develop a plan on how to reach the goal you set for
yourself.
Further
notes on looking at college or training programs
1.
When looking at a college
or training program, be sure to compare costs and look at more than one
program. Costs are different and you
have to look at both the direct costs (tuition and fees) and the indirect costs
(travel, living on or off campus, food and entertainment). You can get the direct costs information from
the college or training program. You can
also find some of the indirect costs from the college or training program, but
you may want to speak with former students and find out what they have paid for
their living costs. These are also very
good questions to ask the college or program representative as well.
2.
Do research on the degree or certification you want to
obtain. Look at the potential income
that the training will help you obtain and what you will need to pay back such
as loans or other financing options.
3.
When doing a campus visit, schedule meetings with both the
admissions and financial aid offices.
Sit down with the admissions office and discuss what is needed to get
into the program and what is needed to graduate. Sit down with the financial aid office and
find out the costs of the program and what options are available to assist in
paying for the program.
4.
Look at the environment that surrounds the college or program you
are looking at. This not only means
looking at the physical location, buildings and grounds, but also looking at
how you fit within the program. Talk to
other students in the program and find out what they
think of the program and their future prospects.
These additional four points are a good starting place for you
when looking at further education.
Again, pursuing further education is a big step and can be helpful in
transitioning into the working world.
Hopefully as you look at your plans you ask questions and find the right
fit for you and your future.
I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVORS!!!!
Copyright 2012 Mike Arieta MSW, LICSW, LMSW
